Posted by
strikemepinkifidontthink.com on Monday, March 26, 2007 6:05:22 PM
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Global warming’s now a-borning and bringing fear upon us
It’s becoming unpleasant to live in the present and the future holds no promise
For it will supply a poke in the eye for every doubting Thomas.
Devastation will come, the heavens will pour
And leave us all standing on a barren shore
And do you know who’s responsible? Well, they call him Al Gore.
Oh, did I get it wrong? It wasn’t his doing?
Don’t tell me that, he was there at the brewing.
He musta done something and we’re getting a screwing.
Whenever we hear bad news like the icebergs declining
While all the polar bears and penguins are complaining
I do declare that Gore’s been there, but not when the sun was shining.
He moves about in darkness like Dracula at his best
He’s spreading holy terror through North and East and West
He knows the way to pinch your shirt, yet not undo your vest.
He’s preaching us a gospel that will end the human race
If you meet a bonny lassie do not her waist embrace
For zero population growth is noo the way we face. #1
To think that Albert Gore, whom they used to call a bore
And greeted all his speeches with a loud resounding snore
Is tight with the Lord who’ll send him the word when tsunamis approach the shore.
Such a man must be followed for the future is in his grasp
We’ll want his gallant leadership when nearing our last gasp
I’ll be aboard his starship as we flee from gravity’s clasp.
We’ll soar up to a galaxy that’s under Buddha’s protection
Al’s faithful monks will meet him there and ask his wise direction
He’s the only guy that goes to church and walks away with the collection.
In outer space we’ll find a place away from earth’s afflictions
Global warm-ups mayn’t alarm us despite all Al’s predictions
The which, says he, he didn’t see ’cause he was drinking tea and never told such fictions.
His mad career will continue, I fear, though he treats the truth like a rarity
When he explains how his heat bills are paid, I cannot see much clarity,
But one thing I know, when they kickback his dough, it ain’t gonna go to charity!
1. Mr. Gore is of Scottish descent. They're a gloomy lot. Thrifty too. In '97 he gave $353 to charity. | |
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