MY WAY AGAIN

Taking time out from a close study of the pennant races I return to my survey of my progress as a commentator on current events other than baseball. I’m going about this the obvious way: I’m reviewing the titles in the website archive to see where I was coming from before I got where I am. The problem again is the titles -- I was too cute for my own good in choosing some that were good in their way, but they didn’t relate so clearly to the subject under discussion that I can tell from looking at a title what the hell I was talking about in the actual article attached.

A bad scene. But here’s an exception, “Christmas at Trenton.” No mystery here. I took a look at a book, “Washington’s Crossing” about George Washington’s come-from-behind win at Trenton on Christmas night 1776, when he caught the British Army’s Hessian allies worn out from guerrilla attacks (not hung over) and scooped up their whole force. A few days later he came back and beat the British themselves at Princeton. After that it was time to hibernate for the winter. The British were glad to let him.

These were the only battles Washington won in the war except for the final climactic one at Yorktown five years later. Washington was definitely a clutch hitter. “He won by losing” said one of his subordinates. Did I hear someone say that’s exactly the same strategy we’re using in Iraq? Let’s not go there.

I liked this article because the book had pertinent stuff in it about Washington’s attitude toward prisoners. He demanded good treatment for them even though his men weren’t getting it from the British. At the time of publication it appeared that some of our people at Abu Ghraib and elsewhere had forgotten this.

I kept writing about counties for a while. In one article I dealt with three of the most famous ones, Calaveras and Marin in California and Cook in Illinois. The first was immortalized by Mark Twain in his breakthrough story “The Celebrated Jumping Frog of Calaveras County,” the second is known for its rich collection of hippies, vegans, naturists, anarchists, star-gazers, tree-huggers, hunger marchers, and other such characters almost too fascinating to describe. There are characters and urban legends in Cook County also, seeing that the city of Chicago takes up most of its territory. A “county”, you know, was the territory formerly ruled by a Count in medieval days. Some people think that there is a hereditary ruling family in this county still, and their name is Daley, seeing that the present mayor-for-life is the son of a former mayor-for-life, and is grooming an heir.

Under the Daileys Chicago has settled down and the rattle of the machine gun is no longer heard on its streets. For my essay I made a list of Chicago “incidents” from its founding to the present. There was the Great Fire of 1871, the Iroquois Theatre fire of 1903, The Black Sox World Series 1919, and other highlights. Rereading this I’ve been embarrassed to find that I omitted one outstanding occurrence. I left out the St. Valentine’s Day Massacre of February 14, 1929. If you’re going to write Chicago history, you can’t do things like that. I apologize.

I continued after this to harp on some pet peeves of mine. One of them was the presumption of innocence, or rather the misunderstanding of it fostered by the talking heads on TV, which regular readers will recognize and avoid, so I’ll say no more about it here. My other favorite is the revival of the blue ribbon jury for the purpose of hearing difficult cases beyond the comprehension of the street-corner loafers now enlisted to mete out justice in the courts, when they would be much better employed by the government in grass-cutting or litter removal.

Well, it goes on. What other crusades did my zeal for reform lead me into? Currency reform? Initiative and referendum? Single tax? Universal health care? Zen? Aerobics? Psychic research? Simplified spelling? Rock climbing? Sky diving? Scuba diving? Power walking? No-carb dieting? Calligraphy? Ceramics? Antiquing? Genealogy?

Okay, that’s enough. If I take up any of these things, my readers will be the first to know. I won’t keep them to myself. You will all be invited to share in the joy of discovery of new worlds to conquer. I actually do hope there will be some changes made to improve and update my current product. As can be seen, I’ve abided by my resolution to curb my writing enthusiasm a bit and cut back to normal newspaper column length instead of spreading myself as generously as I have been. But I might go back that way too. Stand by to go about, as the sailors say.






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