TEACHERS' ISLAND CREAM

Where did I get that title? Why am I playing games with the name of a respectable old Scotch whisky and twisting it about so it means…say, what does it mean? Well it’s about teachers, you see, and how they’re deep in whipped cream out here on the “Island.” This has caused a reaction from the peasants here, leading to bad puns. Because the teachers are getting…bad sums. This has got to stop.

Seriously, folks, things are out of hand out here. I’ve previously reported on things like the $11M rip-off the Roslyn school district, the multiplication of million-dollar firehouses that compete with Las Vegas for luxury, and a large number of other raids on the public funds by officials of high or low rank, and now it’s the teachers’ turn. Our local paper Newsday has done its research and has found:

A. There are 124 separate school districts on L.I. They are sliced and diced pretty thinly, falling in the middle range between our 97 incorporated villages and our
179 (!) fire districts.
B. The schools enroll 465,000 students. Each district has a superintendent, eleven of whom make over $250,000 a year. The Chancellor of the New York City schools, which enroll 975,000 students, makes $250,000 even.
C. After the superintendents come their entourages, which includes a personal assistant, deputy superintendents, principals, assistant principals, and directors. What they direct is not specified, but I suspect that maybe they’re assigned to different subjects like English perhaps, or P.T., making sure that all the teachers of these subjects are following the curriculum.
D. The total strength of this elite is over 2,000 picked men and women averaging $153,000 each in annual pay and benefits. Depending on how you do the count, there are either 224 students for each administrator or 169. The students also have teachers, of course. The difference is that they see the teachers, but not the administrators. The teachers are in the trenches but the others are back of the lines with the staff.

There’s more of this, but you get the picture. The gravy train is rolling, carrying its passengers to their country estates, rural hideaways, hunting lodges or wherever they go to enjoy gracious living. After all, if you’ve got the funds and you’re in a job where you get the whole summer off, why shouldn’t you have a retreat where you can escape the wear and tear of daily life and take advantage of the good things that have come your way?

You don’t have to be idle all summer either. There are all those improving seminars in places like Palm Springs and yes, Vegas, where you can add to your professional credentials in the mornings and sample the amenities of the place in the afternoons. All work and no play makes Jack a dull teacher, you know.

Las Vegas was a favorite place for seminars attended by the former superintendent of the Roslyn school district who is back in the paper today for making restitution of $2,213,257 misappropriated by him before his arrest in 2005. This will help him with the parole board when he comes before it in 2010. He needs to make a good showing because his maximum sentence runs to the year 2017. A number of his accomplices in Roslyn have made restitution of another $3 million or so, also with their paroles in mind.

All these people would be enjoying sinecures with big paychecks today if they only could have resisted temptation a little better. But the district was rich, the school board was a group of unpaid part-time volunteers and there were easy pickings to be had. The problem with white-collar crime, though, is that it’s almost impossible to carry it out without leaving a paper trail. Checks have to be written, ledger entries have to be made, vouchers must be filed and all these things are subject to exposure when they are closely examined. The school board finally smelled a rat and woke up, and the rest was easy. The audit firm which had missed all the clues went out of business and the district attorney took over.

Another thing about white-collar is that restitution can be had if the culprits did as these did and either banked their loot or spent it on conspicuous consumption like big houses and Formula One cars. Their extravagant habits served them in the end because they had property to be seized. If they had gambled away their takings or even buried them in some impenetrable location, they wouldn’t have been able to make restitution of anything.

Roslyn goes on its accustomed way, not tightening its belt even if it is watching its cash better. When it comes to swollen staffs, they are right up there with the rest of the big spenders. For 3,379 enrolled students they have 27 administrators over $110,000 yearly. Some other comparable districts have more students but still get along with fewer administrators, at least of the high-priced variety.

All this wealth creation by a class of people who used to solicit pity for their poverty and continually call attention to their oppressed condition comes as a surprise to someone like myself who hasn’t been paying attention to what’s going on. I did read about grade inflation which came into vogue in the Sixties when students demanded that schools stop failing people and instead build up their egos by passing everyone. What I didn’t learn about was paycheck inflation, which started roaring along at the same time. Now it’s a five-alarm fire. The teachers have taken over and the rest of us are holding the bag. I just hope the administrators get good value for the money I’ll be forced to give them. Don’t let anybody sell you any cultured pearls, boys, hold out for the real thing. You can afford it.

John Dewey would be proud to see how education has progressed since his time. He was the father of progressive education as expounded at Columbia’s Teachers College where he presided. H.L. Mencken described him as an expert in pedagogics, metaphysics, psychology, ethics, logic, politics, pedagogical metaphysics, metaphysical psychology, psychological ethics, ethical logic, logical politics and political pedagogics. What a man! But he didn’t make as much as a deputy assistant superintendent on Long Island. That’s what it is to be born too soon.






Designed and Hosted by Online Ontime Ltd.