CHRISTMAS IN OLDEN DAYS

Heap on more wood!--the wind is chill;

But let it whistle as it will,

We’ll keep our Christmas merry still.

Each age has deemed the new-born year

The fittest time for festal cheer;

Even, heathen yet, the savage Dane

At Yule more deep the mead did drain;

High on the beach his galleys drew,

And feasted all his pirate crew;

Then in his low and pine-built hall,

Where shields and axes decked the wall,

They gorged upon the half-dressed steer;

Caroused in seas of sable beer;

While round, in brutal jest, were thrown

The half-gnawed rib and marrow-bone,

Or listened all, in grim delight,

While scalds yelled out the joys of fight,

Then forth in frenzy would they hie,

While wildly loose their red locks fly,

And dancing round the blazing pile

They make such barbarous mirth the while,

As best might to the mind recall

The boisterous joys of Odin’s hall.

The foregoing is Sir Walter Scott’s tribute to the fun-loving Vikings of the Dark Ages who made themselves so well known as party animals in their time. Hagar the Horrible is only a very pale reflection of these high-spirited chaps who made such a deep impression on their neighbors that they became known from England as far south as Spain and as far east as Constantinople. It’s all in a book called “The Long Ships” which became a movie starring Sidney Poitier, no, not as a Viking, stupid. He was a Viking prisoner.

Walter Scott’s poetry was overshadowed in 1812 by the new sensation, George Gordon, Lord Byron. Scott turned to writing novels instead, eventually becoming “the most famous man in the world” according to historians. Byron deserved his fame, but I’ve found that I still have a weakness for Scott’s poetry as well. Reading him is like watching one of his stags leaping from crest to crest, never losing his footing. Scott is like that, he keeps you wondering where he’s going to find a rhyme for his last line, but he always comes up with one. He matched the Viking poem above with a Christian one I’ve printed here. What comes through is his love for old customs and traditions, which even then were being attacked by bluenoses. He also had strong democratic feelings, as the poem shows. He wasn’t born to his title as Byron was to his (after some early deaths), but earned it through his work. Byron was a liberal too, as liberals were understood in those days, i.e., they were liberators, believers in freedom -- from government especially.

CHRISTMAS IN OLDEN TIME II

And well our Christian sires of old

Loved when the year its course had rolled,

And brought blithe Christmas back again,

With all its hospitable train.

Domestic and religious rite

Gave honor to the holy night;

On Christmas eve the bells were rung;

On Christmas eve the Mass was sung;

The only night in all the year,

Saw the soled priest the chalice rear.

The damsel dressed her kirtle sheen;

The hall was dressed with holly green;

Forth to the wood did merry-men go,

To gather in the mistletoe.

Then opened wide the baron’s hall

To vassal, tenant, serf and all;

All hailed, with uncontrolled delight

And general voice, the happy night

That to the cottage as to the crown

Brought tidings of salvation down.

There the huge sirloin reeked; hard by

Plum pudding stood, and Christmas pie,

Nor failed old Scotland to produce

At such high tide, her savory goose.

Then came the merry maskers in;

And carols roared with blithesome din,

If unmelodious was the song,

It was a hearty note, and strong.

England was merry England, when

Old Christmas brought his sports again.

¢ Twas Christmas broached the mightiest ale;

¢ Twas Christmas told the merriest tale;

A Christmas gambol oft could cheer

The poor man’s heart through half the year.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

THE WRESTLER AND THE BOXER

Following in the footsteps of Joe Biden this week I‘m borrowing my material from an outside source, the late Dan Parker, sports editor of the late New York Daily Mirror. Dan found the sports world to be a reliable source of characters ready to contribute to the public’s amusement and instruction. Off-beat people were Dan’s meat and today I’ve reprinted part of his stories about some outstanding ones. Two of his targets, though, Blinky and “Mr. Grey“. were serious fellows out to corner the fight racket, as it was known to them, which didn’t stop Dan from kidding them to death and eventually getting them sent to jail and out of business for fixing fights and cheating fighters. But first, let’s meet a less sinister character who made his scores without using muscle, although he had almost too much of that.

This is the story of a 300-pound wrestler named Haystack Muldoon, arrested while fishing in Belmar, New Jersey, for hanging out bum checks in Florida, Canada and South Dakota, among other places. “In fact Muldoon’s checks had converted large sections of the United States into a tennis court as they ricocheted all over the map.”

But he had a redeeming feature. He worried that his arrest would cast a shadow on the great game to which he had dedicated his life, professional wrestling. Dan was touched by this because in his opinion it was impossible to bring disrepute on wrestling, since it had no repute to start with. He wrote:

“Muldoon’s tender concern about damaging the game merits at the very least a benefit wrestling show to help him square the rap in the Sunshine City where he passed a number of bounceroos. He vacationed at the beach in March and before leaving he wrote checks of pure latex consistency for the following trinkets and necessities: Two diamond rings for $10,000 and $3,170 respectively; $124 for an imported wrist watch; $1,000 for a gold coin collection with $55 legitimate moolah returned to him as change; checks for $970 and $350 cashed in the restaurant where he ate and a $1,000 number he gave the restaurateur when he heard the poor fellow was short on hard money after emptying his strong box to cash the other two checks; $225 for a hotel bill and $300 for an advance payment on a motel room for next winter. ( Note. All 1963 figures; 50% of today’s.)

The odor of fish that arose when Muldoon started sobbing about the damage he had done to the Game he loved didn’t come from this but from the boatload of fish he had caught. The miracle of the loafer and the fishes in this case was that among the 70-odd specimens in the boat there wasn’t a single sucker. Haystack apparently had caught all he wanted of that species in Florida.”

Now we pass on to the story of Blinky Palermo, consigliere of Frankie Carbo, aka “Mr. Grey”, in his time considered to be the kingpin of the boxing game in America, owning a piece of most of the major fighters in the country, making their matches for them and dictating the outcomes, always collecting his commission before they ever saw any of their money.


“Out on $100,000 bail since then, Palermo carried his case to the Federal Court of Appeals, which ruled that there were no grounds for a new trial. The Supreme Court of the United States, to which Frankie Carbo, Blink’s boss, carried his case, turned him down some months ago and Carbo was transferred at his own request to the “Rock”, Alcatraz. Since then Carbo, along with the other inmates of Alcatraz, which has been abandoned, was moved up the road to McNeil Island Penitentiary, Washington.

When Palermo lost out in the Court Of Appeals in California the assumption was that he had been sent to join his padrone Frankie on the island up Puget Sound way, particularly after the trouble he’d managed to get in while free on bail. This was the matter of offering a boxer named Cortez Stewart $50 per day to act as Sonny Liston’s sparring partner while he was training for a fight in Chicago last September, according to Stewart’s testimony before the New York State Senate’s “investigation” of boxing. What made this testimony significant was that it seemed to bear out the charge that Blinky was still Liston’s behind the scenes manager, which if true would make perjurers out of a lot of fight racket notables including (sakes alive!) Sonny himself, who swore on a Ring Record Book that the Blink was no longer associated with him.

Then Palermo’s appeal in the Los Angeles case involving his attempt, with Carbo and strong arm hoodlums, to steal fighter Don Jordan from his rightful owners, two West Coast promoters, was denied by the higher federal Court and boxing men thought the jig was up for Blinky. But they reckoned not with his attorney, Jacob Kosman, a Philadelphia lawyer’s Philadelphia lawyer. He had Palermo’s $100,000 bail continued while he prepared a petition asking the Supreme Court to review Palermo’s case, which he filed Friday. Now comes the most disgraceful thing of all. Blink has gone to work! Those lily-white hands always so nicely manicured to set off the gold toothpicks with which he was wont to chisel from the crevices of his 18-carat dentistry the fragments of veal scallopini or garlic wedged there, are now being soiled by manual labor -- selling used cars. They are much harder to sell than Blinky’s usual line -- gold bricks -- but Palermo has connections as well as persuasive ways. You never can tell when Ike Williams, his onetime lightweight champ, will mortgage the old homestead to buy a Blinky Scored Cylinder Special at only a slight markup, in memory of the days when Palermo took two $30,000 purses Ike earned, tossed them in the air and let the champ keep all the loot that remained aloft.”

Dan concluded this tribute to a remarkable character by referring reverentially to lawyer Kosman as a “learned Blackstoneite” and suggesting Palermo’s female supporters knit him some pig’s bristle pajamas to tickle him silly while in jail.

I haven’t forgotten the election, whatever you may think. I keep thinking of Obama’s campaign as an obamination and himself as obaminable. The name of his pals the ACLU is really code for All Criminals Love Us and as for ACORN, that obviously stands for Associated Criminals Out to Rob the Nation.

VICTOR LAZLO EXPOSED

Election time is always a season for revising history and rearranging facts to use them to your advantage or your candidate’s advantage. This has given me the idea of trying my own hand at that kind of thing without reference to any election, but just for the experience. I don’t have the nerve to fool with actual history, but I have succumbed to the urge to rewrite some semi-history originating with Hollywood in the momentous days of World War II. What I’m talking about is “Casablanca”, the most famous of all war pictures from those days and one which has convinced a lot of people that it’s actually a slice of real history or anyway close to it.

I’m contemplating a new version written from a different viewpoint and called by a new title “The Murder of Major Strasser.” The major, you will recall, was shot down in cold blood by Humphrey Bogart just as he was trying to prevent Victor Lazlo and his wife Elsa from boarding a plane out of Casablanca. Humphrey and his cohort Captain Renault (Claude Raines) then fled from justice after Raines issued spurious orders to his cops to “round up the usual suspects.” (A transparent cover-up for his own collusion, of course.

Probably he would have been the first to squeal on Bogart if they were caught escaping.)

The real facts of the case are quite different from the Hollywood version. Major Strasser, you see, was actually an anti-Nazi, though forced to work for them as an army officer. He was part of the group who were then planning to assassinate Hitler and end the war. The High Command were suspicious of him and sent him to North Africa to get him out of the way. He had no choice but to pose as a zealous Nazi and pretend to be dedicated to smashing the underground resistance of the French in Casablanca.

It was easier for him to keep up this pose when he found that the underground was attempting to help Victor Lazlo to escape to America with his wife to work on the creation of the atom bomb. This was not revealed in the movie, where Lazlo was vaguely identified only as a “resistance leader.” Major Strasser knew better. He knew Lazlo was a nuclear physicist and also…a Communist. Strasser was an anti-Communist just as much as he was an anti-Nazi. He knew that having Lazlo in America at Los Alamos meant that the secret of the bomb would be made known to the Russians at the first opportunity.

That was why he raced to the airport to intercept Lazlo’s escape. When he arrived he was murdered by “Rick”, who was part of the Communist escape team protecting Lazlo. The major didn’t know about “Rick’s” activities in running guns to the Reds in Spain during the civil war there, which he bragged about when far gone in drink. If he had he would have been on his guard, but as a German democrat he trusted Americans. That wasn’t wrong, but trusting the Hollywood type was.

After the war the spy ring at Los Alamos was exposed and, yes, with the help of the Lazlo couple, who turned state’s evidence and testified against their fellow conspirators. For this they were enrolled in the Witness Protection Program and disappeared from view. I believe myself that they were living next door to me a couple of years ago. They once caught me staring at them trying to determine whether my memory was playing me tricks or not, which apparently made them uneasy. The next day their house was deserted and they had left for parts unknown. Was it Paris maybe? Is that what Rick meant when he told Elsa “We’ll always have Paris“? Was he planning to meet her there again? What about old Victor? I haven’t gotten to that part of my screenplay yet. But I fear the worst for Vic.

In this essay I have tried to do belated justice to the reputation of a much misunderstood man, who was unappreciated by those he served, perhaps better than they deserved. However he never complained of this but instead pressed on in the line of duty without recriminations. Circumstances prevented him from expressing his true sentiments, which were of goodwill toward all mankind, including his enemies. He has been abused by many who should have known better and his character has been brought in question. He has been judged by those who knew him only as a man ready to draw a gun on anyone who got in his way. This aspect of his character does not reflect the reality of the sensitive, caring person concealed behind the mask he wore. Those who know the real man are confident that history will vindicate him and place him among the heroes who have served democracy most loyally without getting the recognition due them.

--------

To a reader: No, you’re all wrong. I wasn’t talking about George Bush.

 

 

 

 

 

 VICTOR LAZLO EXPOSED

Election time is always a season for revising history and rearranging facts to use them to your advantage or your candidate’s advantage. This has given me the idea of trying my own hand at that kind of thing without reference to any election, but just for the experience. I don’t have the nerve to fool with actual history, but I have succumbed to the urge to rewrite some semi-history originating with Hollywood in the momentous days of World War II. What I’m talking about is “Casablanca”, the most famous of all war pictures from those days and one which has convinced a lot of people that it’s actually a slice of real history or anyway close to it.

I’m contemplating a new version written from a different viewpoint and called by a new title “The Murder of Major Strasser.” The major, you will recall, was shot down in cold blood by Humphrey Bogart just as he was trying to prevent Victor Lazlo and his wife Elsa from boarding a plane out of Casablanca. Humphrey and his cohort Captain Renault (Claude Raines) then fled from justice after Raines issued spurious orders to his cops to “round up the usual suspects.” (A transparent cover-up for his own collusion, of course.
Probably he would have been the first to squeal on Bogart if they were caught escaping.)

The real facts of the case are quite different from the Hollywood version. Major Strasser, you see, was actually an anti-Nazi, though forced to work for them as an army officer. He was part of the group who were then planning to assassinate Hitler and end the war. The High Command were suspicious of him and sent him to North Africa to get him out of the way. He had no choice but to pose as a zealous Nazi and pretend to be dedicated to smashing the underground resistance of the French in Casablanca.

It was easier for him to keep up this pose when he found that the underground was attempting to help Victor Lazlo to escape to America with his wife to work on the creation of the atom bomb. This was not revealed in the movie, where Lazlo was vaguely identified only as a “resistance leader.” Major Strasser knew better. He knew Lazlo was a nuclear physicist and also…a Communist. Strasser was an anti-Communist just as much as he was an anti-Nazi. He knew that having Lazlo in America at Los Alamos meant that the secret of the bomb would be made known to the Russians at the first opportunity.

That was why he raced to the airport to intercept Lazlo’s escape. When he arrived he was murdered by “Rick”, who was part of the Communist escape team protecting Lazlo. The major didn’t know about “Rick’s” activities in running guns to the Reds in Spain during the civil war there, which he bragged about when far gone in drink. If he had he would have been on his guard, but as a German democrat he trusted Americans. That wasn’t wrong, but trusting the Hollywood type was.

After the war the spy ring at Los Alamos was exposed and, yes, with the help of the Lazlo couple, who turned state’s evidence and testified against their fellow conspirators. For this they were enrolled in the Witness Protection Program and disappeared from view. I believe myself that they were living next door to me a couple of years ago. They once caught me staring at them trying to determine whether my memory was playing me tricks or not, which apparently made them uneasy. The next day their house was deserted and they had left for parts unknown. Was it Paris maybe? Is that what Rick meant when he told Elsa “We’ll always have Paris“? Was he planning to meet her there again? What about old Victor? I haven’t gotten to that part of my screenplay yet. But I fear the worst for Vic.

In this essay I have tried to do belated justice to the reputation of a much misunderstood man, who was unappreciated by those he served, perhaps better than they deserved. However he never complained of this but instead pressed on in the line of duty without recriminations. Circumstances prevented him from expressing his true sentiments, which were of goodwill toward all mankind, including his enemies. He has been abused by many who should have known better and his character has been brought in question. He has been judged by those who knew him only as a man ready to draw a gun on anyone who got in his way. This aspect of his character does not reflect the reality of the sensitive, caring person concealed behind the mask he wore. Those who know the real man are confident that history will vindicate him and place him among the heroes who have served democracy most loyally without getting the recognition due them.

--------

To a reader: No, you’re all wrong. I wasn’t talking about George Bush.











VICTOR LAZLO EXPOSED

Election time is always a season for revising history and rearranging facts to use them to your advantage or your candidate’s advantage. This has given me the idea of trying my own hand at that kind of thing without reference to any election, but just for the experience. I don’t have the nerve to fool with actual history, but I have succumbed to the urge to rewrite some semi-history originating with Hollywood in the momentous days of World War II. What I’m talking about is “Casablanca”, the most famous of all war pictures from those days and one which has convinced a lot of people that it’s actually a slice of real history or anyway close to it.

I’m contemplating a new version written from a different viewpoint and called by a new title “The Murder of Major Strasser.” The major, you will recall, was shot down in cold blood by Humphrey Bogart just as he was trying to prevent Victor Lazlo and his wife Elsa from boarding a plane out of Casablanca. Humphrey and his cohort Captain Renault (Claude Raines) then fled from justice after Raines issued spurious orders to his cops to “round up the usual suspects.” (A transparent cover-up for his own collusion, of course.
Probably he would have been the first to squeal on Bogart if they were caught escaping.)

The real facts of the case are quite different from the Hollywood version. Major Strasser, you see, was actually an anti-Nazi, though forced to work for them as an army officer. He was part of the group who were then planning to assassinate Hitler and end the war. The High Command were suspicious of him and sent him to North Africa to get him out of the way. He had no choice but to pose as a zealous Nazi and pretend to be dedicated to smashing the underground resistance of the French in Casablanca.

It was easier for him to keep up this pose when he found that the underground was attempting to help Victor Lazlo to escape to America with his wife to work on the creation of the atom bomb. This was not revealed in the movie, where Lazlo was vaguely identified only as a “resistance leader.” Major Strasser knew better. He knew Lazlo was a nuclear physicist and also…a Communist. Strasser was an anti-Communist just as much as he was an anti-Nazi. He knew that having Lazlo in America at Los Alamos meant that the secret of the bomb would be made known to the Russians at the first opportunity.

That was why he raced to the airport to intercept Lazlo’s escape. When he arrived he was murdered by “Rick”, who was part of the Communist escape team protecting Lazlo. The major didn’t know about “Rick’s” activities in running guns to the Reds in Spain during the civil war there, which he bragged about when far gone in drink. If he had he would have been on his guard, but as a German democrat he trusted Americans. That wasn’t wrong, but trusting the Hollywood type was.

After the war the spy ring at Los Alamos was exposed and, yes, with the help of the Lazlo couple, who turned state’s evidence and testified against their fellow conspirators. For this they were enrolled in the Witness Protection Program and disappeared from view. I believe myself that they were living next door to me a couple of years ago. They once caught me staring at them trying to determine whether my memory was playing me tricks or not, which apparently made them uneasy. The next day their house was deserted and they had left for parts unknown. Was it Paris maybe? Is that what Rick meant when he told Elsa “We’ll always have Paris“? Was he planning to meet her there again? What about old Victor? I haven’t gotten to that part of my screenplay yet. But I fear the worst for Vic.

In this essay I have tried to do belated justice to the reputation of a much misunderstood man, who was unappreciated by those he served, perhaps better than they deserved. However he never complained of this but instead pressed on in the line of duty without recriminations. Circumstances prevented him from expressing his true sentiments, which were of goodwill toward all mankind, including his enemies. He has been abused by many who should have known better and his character has been brought in question. He has been judged by those who knew him only as a man ready to draw a gun on anyone who got in his way. This aspect of his character does not reflect the reality of the sensitive, caring person concealed behind the mask he wore. Those who know the real man are confident that history will vindicate him and place him among the heroes who have served democracy most loyally without getting the recognition due them.

--------

To a reader: No, you’re all wrong. I wasn’t talking about George Bush.

 

 

 

 

VICTOR LAZLO EXPOSED

Election time is always a season for revising history and rearranging facts to use them to your advantage or your candidate’s advantage. This has given me the idea of trying my own hand at that kind of thing without reference to any election, but just for the experience. I don’t have the nerve to fool with actual history, but I have succumbed to the urge to rewrite some semi-history originating with Hollywood in the momentous days of World War II. What I’m talking about is “Casablanca”, the most famous of all war pictures from those days and one which has convinced a lot of people that it’s actually a slice of real history or anyway close to it.

I’m contemplating a new version written from a different viewpoint and called by a new title “The Murder of Major Strasser.” The major, you will recall, was shot down in cold blood by Humphrey Bogart just as he was trying to prevent Victor Lazlo and his wife Elsa from boarding a plane out of Casablanca. Humphrey and his cohort Captain Renault (Claude Raines) then fled from justice after Raines issued spurious orders to his cops to “round up the usual suspects.” (A transparent cover-up for his own collusion, of course.
Probably he would have been the first to squeal on Bogart if they were caught escaping.)

The real facts of the case are quite different from the Hollywood version. Major Strasser, you see, was actually an anti-Nazi, though forced to work for them as an army officer. He was part of the group who were then planning to assassinate Hitler and end the war. The High Command were suspicious of him and sent him to North Africa to get him out of the way. He had no choice but to pose as a zealous Nazi and pretend to be dedicated to smashing the underground resistance of the French in Casablanca.

It was easier for him to keep up this pose when he found that the underground was attempting to help Victor Lazlo to escape to America with his wife to work on the creation of the atom bomb. This was not revealed in the movie, where Lazlo was vaguely identified only as a “resistance leader.” Major Strasser knew better. He knew Lazlo was a nuclear physicist and also…a Communist. Strasser was an anti-Communist just as much as he was an anti-Nazi. He knew that having Lazlo in America at Los Alamos meant that the secret of the bomb would be made known to the Russians at the first opportunity.

That was why he raced to the airport to intercept Lazlo’s escape. When he arrived he was murdered by “Rick”, who was part of the Communist escape team protecting Lazlo. The major didn’t know about “Rick’s” activities in running guns to the Reds in Spain during the civil war there, which he bragged about when far gone in drink. If he had he would have been on his guard, but as a German democrat he trusted Americans. That wasn’t wrong, but trusting the Hollywood type was.

After the war the spy ring at Los Alamos was exposed and, yes, with the help of the Lazlo couple, who turned state’s evidence and testified against their fellow conspirators. For this they were enrolled in the Witness Protection Program and disappeared from view. I believe myself that they were living next door to me a couple of years ago. They once caught me staring at them trying to determine whether my memory was playing me tricks or not, which apparently made them uneasy. The next day their house was deserted and they had left for parts unknown. Was it Paris maybe? Is that what Rick meant when he told Elsa “We’ll always have Paris“? Was he planning to meet her there again? What about old Victor? I haven’t gotten to that part of my screenplay yet. But I fear the worst for Vic.

In this essay I have tried to do belated justice to the reputation of a much misunderstood man, who was unappreciated by those he served, perhaps better than they deserved. However he never complained of this but instead pressed on in the line of duty without recriminations. Circumstances prevented him from expressing his true sentiments, which were of goodwill toward all mankind, including his enemies. He has been abused by many who should have known better and his character has been brought in question. He has been judged by those who knew him only as a man ready to draw a gun on anyone who got in his way. This aspect of his character does not reflect the reality of the sensitive, caring person concealed behind the mask he wore. Those who know the real man are confident that history will vindicate him and place him among the heroes who have served democracy most loyally without getting the recognition due them.

--------

To a reader: No, you’re all wrong. I wasn’t talking about George Bush.